#SHADY: What Does It Mean To Be A Mother?

What does it mean to be a mother ?

I stared at the presentation topic in confusion. I understood that they wanted to be creative with mother’s day nearing but this topic made no sense at all.

Firstly, what would we, as high school kids, know about being a mother? Secondly, how was this topic even applied to us? Lastly, with the amount of research we’ll be able to find, all of our presentations won’t last longer than one minute – maximum. With that being said, why is it even an option?

Yet, Mr Atticker gave us a week to compile research and come up with the perfect presentation for our mid-year marks. My mind was blocked, I had no idea where to begin.

My dad picked me up from school that day and I told him all about the presentation. “In your opinion, what does it mean to be a mother?” I asked. He took his time thinking about it whilst focusing on the road. After a moment, he replied, “Well, that’s easy isn’t it? Being a mother means caring for your children and being there when they need you.”

Credit: Unsplash / Annie Spratt

I thought about his answer for a long time after I got home. Was the answer really that simple? Was I overthinking the entire topic? Should his answer be the main idea of my presentation?

I don’t know.

When I came down from my room later that night, Mom was in the kitchen preparing dinner, still wearing her office attire. I stood at the kitchen island watching her manage the oven, the stove and cutting up vegetables at the same time. She greeted me with a tired smile when she noticed me.

Sam, my little brother, ran to the kitchen calling for her, “Mom! I need help with my homework!”

“Just a second,” she replied before taste testing her stew on the stove. She turned to me with a sheepish smile. “Honey, you don’t mind watching the food while I help your brother do you?” I nodded and took over cutting the vegetables as she ran to help my brother. I sighed, deep in thought. I wished there was something more I could do than help my mom with the food preparations. She’s always so tired when she gets home from work, yet she still cooks and helps us with our homework without any complaints.

I was so deep in thought that I almost didn’t notice the knife cutting my finger. I winced loudly and dropped the knife, bringing my finger to my face to examine it. Mom immediately ran into the kitchen and when she saw my bloody finger, she made a face.

She hurried and got the first aid kit from the bathroom before examining my finger herself. “You should’ve been more careful,” she said and placed a plaster around my finger. “I’m sorry,” I said, but she shook her head.

“Don’t worry, it’s okay. As long as it doesn’t hurt a lot,” Mom smiled at me and it suddenly hit me.

That night, after dinner, I sat at my desk and stared at the presentation topic again.

What does it mean to be a mother?

Credit: Unsplash / Jonatas Domingos

I picked up my pen and began writing.

To be a mother means being a superhero.

When our entire world turns dark they are always there for us. They are the light that helps us see again. They were there for us on our first day of school, and waited for us with a delicious lunch when we got home. They are always there when we feel like we’re on the verge of a mental breakdown, they provide the shoulder for us to cry on.

Plus, they always give the best advice and have our best interests at heart. Mothers care for us and protect us even if it means that they get hurt in the process.

Yet, we take all those things for granted.

Honestly, we will never really know the true meaning of motherhood until we experience it ourselves, and therefore we should cherish and appreciate our mothers even more. This mother’s day is the perfect day to do so.

Thanks for reading!

If you, or anyone you know, would like to join us as: email us at girlonthebusza@gmail.com or send us a message on our social media!

#COLLAB : Ultimate Parenting Tips

School concert back in 2010.
Credit: Zahraa Schroeder

Zahraa here! To accompany Fatima’s lovely article I will be including a few photos from my childhood to add to the kid-aspect of this post. I’d like to say a huge ‘thank you’ to my Canadian writing buddy, Fatima for taking the time out of her busy day to write for my little blog. Okay, Fatima – take it away!

Many times, as parents, we wish there was an instruction manual that we could follow when raising our children. The truth is all children are different and have their own unique needs. The good news is that there are wonderful parenting tools that we can use to make our lives as parents easier. The tools I discovered from a book and website: “Hand in Hand Parenting”.

The company discusses a set of 5 parenting tools that are great to have in a “parenting toolkit” for dealing with various parenting situations. The tools are designed to help you listen and understand the needs of your child effectively.

My cousin looking out to sea.
Credit: Zahraa Schroeder

Here are the 5 transformational parenting tools:
1) Special Time– Setting some time each day to bond with your child. During this time you allow the child to select a safe activity they want to do and you follow their lead. 

2) Listening Partnership– Having someone you can talk to about your patenting struggles and release the tension and the anger you build up each day.

3) Stay-listening– This involves listening to your child when they feel upset and hurt and allowing them to release the negative feelings they have building inside of them.

4) Play-listening– This involves creating humour by allowing them to show and teach you how a simple task is done (i.e. accidentally wearing socks on hands and allowing a child to show you where they are worn).

5) Setting Limits– Creating limits for your child when your child is doing something inappropriate. This involves telling them in a loving, compassionate way that the behaviour needs to stop.

Camping days back in high school
Credit: Zahraa Schroeder

I have found these tools to be a real game changer when it comes to parenting. You can learn more about the tools and see applications of the tools at https://www.handinhandparenting.org/

Fatima Siddiqa Mohamedali is a passionate elementary Montessori teacher. She loves looking for ways of strengthening both the teacher and child connection and the parent child connection. She is currently pursuing her qualifications to teach yoga to children of all ages and abilities. Her hobbies include yoga, reading and trying new recipes.